An Exhalation

I'm not sure what, or how to feel right now. Helplessly trapped, confined to a space that's physically limiting. All of a sudden I can't breath. I can't see anything, seamless, flat obstructions: walls, in all directions. I'm overwhelmed with possibilities waiting just out of reach. All I have to do is stand up, and with each leg walk. Walk until I can no longer hold myself. Until there are no lights, or sounds.
Silence.
I learned what silence is.
I miss silence.
I need silence.


I can't breath again.
Everyday I am in this city I break a little more.
I crumble away.
All I am is memories,
All I have is memories.
As I crumble I forget.
I loose those images, words, sounds that make me up.
One by one, they fall.
I am not living in this moment, creating memories.
It's impossible because: This moment is not real, 
everything about it is anthropogenically produced.
The memories that make me are the real ones.
The ones I don't want to loose.
I don't want to forget what real is.
When we forget what's real,
That is when our souls die.
Our bodies remain,
but they are empty.
There are too many empty bodies here.

When unsure

Sometimes it helps to stop and ask yourself:

What would Elizabeth Bennet do?

Soundtrack to my Heart

Do you have that one album, that every time you listen to it, it brings you back to a place where you were incredibly happy? An audio cue of a moment you never want to forget. Songs that make your heart pang of the fond memories now past, of places you wish you could return too, with people you miss dearly. 

You associate this place with this album because that's where you were the first time you heard it, you fell in love with it, you were having the time of your life with it playing in the background.  

Every time I play it, I find myself back in the car, driving up and down that peninsula, it's raining, we're talking about anything, headed to the beach. We're at the grocery store buying glazed donuts, and whatever is on sale for dinner. We're meeting for lunch during work breaks, and talking about surfing. Everyday headed back to the beach, back in the water, with that album playing in the back of my head.

Listening to it now is heartache, but I just want to return to that time when life was easy, and I was having so much fun. It let's me escape from midterms, labs, and the city, at least just for a moment. I like to think that's alright to do, but I know it's because I'm addicted to that heartache, of wanting something I can't have.
Maybe it's time to put that album back on the shelf and forget it for a while, because living in the past isn't getting me anywhere.  

Cloud Covered Coffee

The World is Mine.

Note to Self:

Don't hesitate. Live. Dream elaborately. Read poetry out loud. Scream at the top of your lungs every once in a while. Breath. Have friends over and cook them delicious food. Sing in the shower. Dance from point A to point B. Stretch after a long day. Write things down. Always accept what you are given.

Let go of any negative emotions and energy at the end of each day, you don't need them.
Let go of any positive emotions and energy at the end of each day, you don't need them either.
Just be.

Breath. Love every little bit about yourself. Let go of your ego. You are insignificant. Forgive. Be silly, and ridiculous. Laugh. Laugh so hard it hurts. Work your body until it sweats, and shakes. Breath. Always exercise your imagination. Draw.

Do things you love. Do things you dislike, it builds character.

Climb a tree, then hug it. Travel. Howl at the Moon. Swim in the Ocean often. Tell yourself you're beautiful, because you are. Breath. Vacuum up a long line of pennies.
Be independent, stand tall, and stand up for what you believe in. Express yourself. Speak your mind, you have a voice,
LET'S HEAR IT. Don't be afraid.
Play in the sun, play in the rain.


Take cat naps regularly.

Every Morning

Wholesome Adventures

There's nothing quiet as fun as waking up at 5:30 in the morning, hopping in The Jazz Cafe, boards in back, and headed to the West Coast to surf some salty waves. They weren't that big, but they were tonnes of fun. Just playing in the water with the birds, seals, bull kelp, otters, and neoprene covered friends is all a girl needs in life. It's so hard to stay in school when there's a whole watery world I want to submerge myself into. Permanently.

My post-surf nap included a stream of dreams in a never ending left barrel, sometimes in the sun somewhere tropical, sometimes in the rain along my favourite coast. Waking I found myself "So pitted" in my warm, flannel sheets, sprawled out on my single bed, drooling a little puddle on my pillow.
This is the easiest life we've ever lived.



2:03:30

Today was the Royal Victoria Marathon, 1/2 marathon, and 8km Race!

 My wifey Kimberwolf ran and finished her first 1/2 marathon in an amazing 2 hours, 3 minutes, and 30 seconds. I am so proud of her!

 Paws came out to support her, and cheer on all the runners!

 Kim is my hero.

And a total babe.

Today was so much fun!

Fall beds

No.1 In the "In The Water" Series: Fall 2011

Sometimes Kim and I like to paddle out in Gonzales Bay and watch the sunrise.

We sing, we splash,

We laugh.

We imagine there are waves.

                    

With the water to ourselves,

  

We create our own watery world.

Where life is brilliant,

And just for that time in the morning,

The world is perfect.