Cold Morning Sand

Morning Paddle

Waking up, pulling the thick layer of neoprene up and over my body, walking across the street to the beach with board under arm and seeing my wifey already in the salty water put the biggest smile on my face this morning.
Paddling out into the little bay that is Gonzales beach, sun rising, and visits from seals is the best way to start a day I think.
I know. 

After returning home, rinsing off, eating breakfast I returned to the sandy shore to enjoy a bodum full of hot coffee, and played on a neat protruding log:

  

Lucky Girl

It's been a sandy toes kind of morning.

This is Where I Live

Good Morning Ocean.

My watch alarm beeped me awake at 8:02, beep, beep, beep. After grabbing pants, boiling water, hand grinding awful coffee, I lightly stepped the 2 minute walk to the beach with steaming bodum in one hand, the empty mug I found at the free store on Denman Island in the other. Walking down the sloping paved path, the smell of salty air hit my sleepy lungs, and I sucked back the sun through each pore of my skin.

Sitting on a concrete ledge, sipping on the hot brown liquid I watched the community of dogs, and dog walkers along the beach. They all seemed to know each other, five furred friends I saw at once playing with sticks and balls, in and out of the water, in and out of the water again. Their owners chat about them, about themselves, about each other. They all move on along the beach to start their days, as the sun continues to rise.

Trash Talk

Back when I was visiting Victoria, I made a stop at the beach in front of the Ross Bay Cemetery. It's a nice beach, once you get past the ways in which it's been anthropogentically modified. The gravel that has been brought in to fill the coastline just doesn't quite look right to me. But something else I noticed not looking quite right was the amount of garbage I found on shore, and floating in the water. Walking only about 20m along the beach I managed to fill my arms with plastic, foil, and a rubber glove.

The photo is of the garbage found within the seaweed, sticks, and beached jellyfish. I was shocked at how much garbage I found in such a short amount of time and distance along the beach. I didn't intentionally go to the beach to pick up debris, but as I saw one piece after another, the little time I had turned into a bit of a cleanup. 

Part of me is a bit naive to think that no one intentionally litters these days, and this mess is of accidental deposit. The other part though knows that all of this could not be the outcome of accident, but rather negligence.

I am one to pick up garbage if I come across it, and see it as our responsibility to do so. If  garbage is public property then we (you and me), as members of the public, are the owners of all the garbage stuck to the city streets, under the forest canopy, and floating in the ocean. Therefore we have a responsibility to pick up not only after ourselves but each other, because it all belongs to all of us, and we cannot be ignorant of that.

I encourage those who read this to adopt this way of thinking of garbage and to pick litter up when you come across it as if it were your own, because it is. 

My mum always used to tell me not to take shells from beaches, beacause if everyone took them, there wouldn't be any left for people to enjoy. If we apply this to litter, and everyone picked up one piece of garbage a day, would there be any left on the streets? In our parks? On our beaches?

City Bike Grassland

Worth Waiting

You could have my heart, man if only you knew. Unbraced, I am faced with the most gorgeous smile, that makes the pumping mass in my chest skip, and speech stutter. I try not to get caught watching you peel away your second skin, and fall too hard over morning coffee and muffins.

With silly plays on words, I fear to be to forward, for I know nothing could realistically come of such feelings. Sometime in the future when, with more certainty, I hope we could be somewhere, somehow, in each others vicinity. Although for now, if there is a chance for such a romance, my heart will not deny it.

Eyes, Ears, Mouth, and Nose.

I've been doing a lot of driving and visiting lately (approx. 700km up, down, and across Vancouver Island). Upon leaving Tofino, I have been back to Denman for a day, then down to Victoria, where I visited my Wifey and played in her garden:

We were weeding and surprisingly found about 10lbs of rouge potatoes that we made a fabulous lunch from with onions, leeks, and garlic from the garden, accompanied by a salad as well.

After getting my fix of Discovery Coffee, seeing HP 7 pt. II with the lovely Lo & Wife for a second time, and BBQing with the best company, I left on a much bigger ferry then I have been used too, and headed for the mainland (for the first time in over a year). Off to the big city I headed to see one of my favourite bands, Beirut, play at the Commodore Ballroom! The show was most excellent, and one that was on my list of things to see before I pass. My favourite songs were played, and I was with a group of 7 pretty awesome people, so I am happy to say my Vancouver trip was very enjoyable. Now I am back in Nanaimo, and will being getting a ride up North, and return to my tiny island.

High Tide

Again I have escaped away to the West Coast of the "Big" Island.

Oh how Tofino has my heart in more ways then one.

I had the most amazing surf thus far, period. I actually surfed-for real- and I mean dropping in on the face of green waves, not just being pushed around by white wash, or catching waves and popping up in the trough.

I can still feel the rush of momentum of the board beneath me, as I slid down that first wave, and thought :

"Oh... This is what surfing is."

This one wave was the start of an irrevocable relationship between the ocean and I.

Comparing my first lesson to present day, I feel I've improved so much in the last 4 months since I started this wavy love affair. Not only the physical aspect of surfing, but the metal changes I've experienced have reshaped my ability to let the ocean into my life fully. Growing up on the coast I have always had a close bond to the great body of salty H2O that has surrounded me since birth. I love being on the water, on the shore, but always had this fear of being in the vast marine world. Learning about all the beautiful and terrifying creatures that live in the cold depths, and my (irrational) fear of whales, has kept me out for far to long, and surfing has helped me break the surface. It may have something to do with the thick neoprene barrier between my fear and I, but with board under arm, I've been able to overcome a fear and be flooded from the oceans high tide. I even saw whales for the first time while out in the water breaching, and flapping their tails far off shore, and I was okay with it, even more, I was excited and wanted to see more. 

Beaches are my favourite (for real)

I make really great faces when I go to the beach apparently.

Hey Summer

I feel silly looking back on recent posts, for as much as I miss those back home, I am having a most excellent summer here on Denman Island. Living an easy island life, really I can not complain, but must appreciate this much needed break from school. For I spend my days listening to CBC on the radio while drinking coffee, and watering the green house. I bike to the lake and play on rope swings while getting a tan. I hitchhike to the cafe to read book after book, drink fabulous coffee and write my wife letters. Saturdays I go to the market and eat local goodies or find treasures in the free store. I frequent the beach often where I practice tying knots, and find myself wondering the forest at some point during the day. Or sit on the porch and play with the cats. So life is great, and I am happy, and so lucky to be able to have such a summer. 

Lonely Island

I miss my friends. I miss my friends a lot.

I miss going to Discovery coffee everyday, and sitting chatting with the staff, drinking great coffee, listening to great music, meeting great people.

I miss the ladies from work and all the fun bike rides, girl's nights, picnics, dance parties, and shenanigans we'd get up to.

I miss my friends in Tofino, having beach fires, going for hikes, surfing, and making amazing food with them.

I miss The Pod, my most interesting friends from school who I am always getting into trouble with, or annoying the hell out of any waiter/waitress who has to deal with us.

I miss the guy who wears a lot of tye-dye and is always giving "Free Hugs" downtown, and all the familiar faces on the buses I used to ride.

I miss my kitty-cat Carbon and how we used to cuddle before bed, and playing with her yarn, or balled up pieces of paper.

I miss Jones, DeVries, and fritzen Hoodless.

I am so lucky to have all these people in my life, and being away really helps me to appreciate them all so much more.

Tinier Island & Internal Explosions

     I didn't think I was much of a city girl until I came to Denman, how the farmland has humbled me. A new friend asked if I could take care of his chickens, and feed their horses for them while they were away. My task was to lock the chickens in their coop in the evening so the mink wouldn't get them, and then feed the horses in the morning. Easy enough right? Well I thought I could just herd the chickens into their wooden house, but they would not cooperate, and I am sure I looked rather silly half scared of my new feather friends, chasing them around the pen. Luckily I had a real farm boy with me who promptly got all the chickens tucked in bed. Lost some points there. Feeding the horses went well, and I got to drive a big work truck around (my wife would be proud), and in the end the job was done (with some help).   

     I took over the position of retreat manager while mum was in Nanaimo, and opened a new, rather large, retreat having to get 24 people organized. It was abit stressful but turns out I am an alright manager, and now mums back and I get to relax.

     I had my first visit to Hornby Island last night, an even smaller gulf island just East of Denman. I went over in the evening with a friend and we went to this show that was happening at the "ball park" which turned out to be rather messy. I have heard of Hornby parties and it was all a bit overwhelming for me seeing as I have been camping at a silent retreat center for just about the last three weeks. Too many drunk people, too many high people, and I didn't really know anyone so I was a bit nervous, shy, and uncomfortable to start with, but i decided to make the best of it and ended up having a pretty good time. But I don't think I would go to such an event again. I'll  save Hornby for the sandy beaches.
   I did however end of going right back to Hornby this afternoon  with mum and some of her friends.  We went to an art opening on this huge grassland property where the owner's (Jeffory Rubinoff) giant metal sculptures were scatter among the meadows. It was a interesting setting walking through the open fields in the sun and stopping at the numerous iron and stainless steel giants. Some were chemically weather and rusted, others being biologically take over by lichens, moss, and bird poop, and few that had yet to show the effects of mother nature. There was an amazing four piece quartet that performed Beethoven's Opus 131 in C-Sharp, it was absolutely brilliant. Breath taking.  We sat and watched from a grassy hill,  as the musicians played their instruments with their entire bodies, and I mean entire bodies. Their energy flowed from their toes, and ear lobes, and finger nails, to the tips of their nose. I kept thinking they were going to leap right form their seats and burst in flames from the emotion being exerted by each individual cell. So easy was it to submerge myself fully into the atmosphere, it moved me.

     On another note I really want to go back to Tofino sooooooooooon please and thank you

_________________________________________________

     I am missing my dear wifey enormously. I feel space in me that is empty. It's empty of laughter. Empty of the biggest, loudest laughs I have ever laughed.

Empty of Kim's contagious laughs that just fill your mouth until it overflows from laughter, and there are laughs all over the floor, so many that they can not be cleared, and they rise so quickly you become submerged in a pool of laughs. You drown in laughs. Every orifice in your body is filled with laughs. You explode with laughter, and die a most joyful death.

I miss you.

Discovery Coffee Comes Camping with Me!

I've created the perfect ritual for my daily morning coffee while camping, all while never leaving the comforts of my cozy sleeping bag.

Part I: Wake up

Part II: Boil H20 - I have my camp stove under the fly outside the back of my tent

Part III: Grind Those Beans - with the help of a fantastic hand grinder (thanks too K.)

Part IV: Brew Brew Brew - I wish I had my mini bodum

Part V: Enjoying my morning coffee, and nature

Discovery Coffee Comes Camping with Me!

Tiny Island

I am really enjoying little island life. I've been working in the garden, doing some landscaping, and eating the most delicious food three times a day. Oh gosh I am so lucky to be here.
I've got my tent all set up and somewhat organized, it looks like this:

 I'm using a tote as a dresser, the lid for a table, and I've got a little mattress to sleep on.

I made a book shelf out of a box, and a nice cozy plaid blanket as a rug/carpet, and there is a mat outside of my door for my shoes. I hung some small pray flags across the ceiling, and usually have the plaid flannel my wifey gave me hanging up so it feels like she's here when I miss her. I also have a hammock that needs to be set up somewhere. 
The tent is orange and always seems to glow like a late sunset, and makes me feel warm and cozy.

I have a great view of the meadow out the front: 

 And the forest out the back:

Deer often come by, I hear them walk past the tent. I'm done in a far corner of a nice meadow filled with oxeye daisies. It's beautiful:

 So this is it, home for the summer, and I am so happy. I have also met some people that are around my age which is nice, and have some friends now who seem really awesome! And I found someone who has a sail boat and wants to teach me how to sail! I think I am going to have a great summer!

Oh The Places You'll Go

I have completely lost track of what month, day, or even what time it is. In the last two weeks I have been all over the island/s and I'm not even back home yet.
I have been so fortune as to have the sun follow me everywhere I go.

After leaving Victoria I spent a few nights at the lake gardening, and cooking with my second mom, and even went out tubing on the lake - something I haven't done in years.
My mum picked me up and we finally made it to Denman Island where I met everyone and set up my tent!
Sooner after I took my mum's car over to Tofino to visit friends and get some surfing in.

 Being surrounded by fog as I walked to the water's edge, not being able to see the swell, let a lone the ocean that was supposed to be in front of me somewhere out there, with my surf board under my arm, was one of the coolest experiences I've had. Once in the water and looking back to shore I had lost the point where sand and water met, and could barely make out the dark contrast of the trees against the sky. In the morning few other surfers were at the beach, and none close enough to see once in the water,  leaving the waves to myself, at one point I felt I had left to a whole new world made of water and waves and I wanted to stay and play forever. I paddled past a large pinkish jelly fish I was careful to avoid and a curious seal even came my way and checked me out, my first wildlife encounter while surfing, making my heart race a little bit(actually a lot). Soon however, the sun broke through the massive white grey blanket and cleared the sky, and I returned back to Cox Bay, out of my new world, the beach became visible again, and I watched Peter Devries surf a 100m or s0 away from me.  

I always have the best time in Tofino, and have already started the westcoast withdrawals being back on the eastcoast of the island, back in the Coastal Douglas Fir Biogeoclimatic zone.

Although I have not made it back to Denman yet, I'm in Nanaimo now, visiting my sister and babysitting my niece Araya, and her two dogs Roxy and Coach. Tomorrow we will all head back up Vancouver Island and go to Denman together.

I have been seeing so much of my family lately which has been really great reconnecting with everyone, although I miss my friends back in Victoria  a lot, especially my dear Wifey Kimberwolf (who I have a skype date with today:) !), and Mr. Jones. I am also having Discovery Coffee withdrawals, with not just the coffee but the staff and sitting in the cafe for hours just visiting, drinking great coffee, and reading.

I am looking forward ot returning to Denman Island, and getting my hands dirty in the garden.

Say Anything

Let me sleep tonight, moon I see you.
The light is brighter then eye lids shut,
For once one dreamless night I ask.
These thoughts drift into my sleep
And keep me stranded in this hole I dug.
The dark is all around as I fall deeper
And this sleepless night grips me,
Made of cloth, a coward to the day
Is running from me, however
I am unknowingly tangled in a pull,
As you drag me behind,
By a thread attached to you.

Darkness speak to me,
if not to apologize, then to free me.

I miss KimberWolf Esmeralda Von Sanshood

Goodbye toaster oven

Goodbye hot plate

Goodbye mini fridge

Goodbye small shower

Goodbye single bed

Goodbye my shoebox of a bachelorette suite!

Today I moved out of the first place I have ever lived by myself, and I feel this is a good time to reflect on the importance of this time in my life, even though it may have only been for six months. I learned a lot about myself, such as I need to learn how to cook for myself. I  learned I prefer not to sleep alone. I learned that I am really good at locking myself out of my house. I learned how to squish silverfish (because they are to fast to catch). I learned how to shave my legs in the shower. I learned how to make delicious banana bread in a toaster oven. I learned how to call friends when you get lonely. I learned when your cat scratches the walls you can't just find a can of paint in the laundry room, and try and paint over them - that only makes it worse, especially when it's the wrong colour, and when you decide maybe sanding it down would make it look better. Oops.

I am now at Shawnigan Lake for a few days until my mum gets here, and I think early Saturday morning we are driving up and over to Denman island, my new home for the summer months.

I'm looking forward to setting up my tent, and getting my hands dirty in the garden. And getting over to Tofino as soon as possible!

As excited as I am, I miss KimberWolf Esmeralda Von Sanshood terribly. I am not sure what I will do when I won't be able to talk to her numerous times a day.

love you wifey.

<3

Sand-Worn Side of You.

I found a local jewelry artist who makes rings and pendants from recycled copper wire, entwined around sea glass and shells she collects. They are absolutely beautiful.
They remind me of you. 
The contrast of the structured copper metal wrapped around the soft, sand-worn sea glass embodies you.
You have a protective outer wall wrapped around your secrets and sensitive side to keep people out. I know this because I've passed this barrier and have seen that soft, sand-worn side of you.

I thought about taking the sea glass we've collected together to the artist to make a custom piece, something to remind me of you, because I'm scared I will forget. 

Last Day of Classes and Catch Up.

The last 10 months of my life have been the best of my life.

Hands down.

I can't believe the amount of things I've done and seen, and the relationships I've built in this short period of time.

And I blame it on these three:

My life would not be as full of love, laughter, and adventure without them.

Thank you.

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Starting the Environmental Technology program when I did was the BEST decision I have ever made! And it's been an amazing program, at the end of the first year I have my GPS certification, Pleasure Craft Boating License, Stream Keepers certification, Restricted Operator's (maritime) certification, and WHMIS certification. Not to mention hours of actually field experience! 

I was so hesitant of the week long field camp component of my spring semester, but when I got out to Fairy Lake near Port Renfrew I had a really great time. 

I drove my first power boat, I canoed around Fairy Lake and up the San Juan River and it's tributaries, which is such a beautiful area (Besides the copious amount of logging happening in that area)

 We collected insects and salamanders using different techniques as part of an on going study of populations at Fairy lake which was really neat to be apart of. It was great doing actually field work that is being used and is meaningful. We also did Telemetry which was interesting, I wasn't very good at it. Although while practicing Nathan and I did find a real frog instead of the fake ones that were hidden.

We did another stream survey, which I really enjoy doing. I love doing the field chemistry part, finding the pH, and dissolved oxygen in the water. It combines my favourite things: Chemistry and Nature.

The timber cruising module I think was my favourite though. Learning how to fill out mensuration forms, using calibrated prisms, and calculating the volume of wood in a stand was really interesting. I want to go into foresty, developing sustainable forestry practices and these are my first steps in the field. We didn't do any tree coring, which is something else I am really interested in, but I'm sure if I ask,  I can get someone to take me out to do some.

While at camp I also learned how to chop firewood! It was so liberating, and fun to be able to cut my own wood, then start a fire with it. I am one step closer to being self sufficient! I also filleted a salmon! I really manned up.

My wife and I have also made another Tofino trip since I last posted, May long weekend we made yet another trip to the West Coast to visit friends and surf, although this time with our own gear!

We also got to take a boat ride over to "Stubb's Island" that only opens up to the public once a year

And more recently Perry, Kim and I went for a hike around East Sooke Park after having an amazing lunch in the sun on the patio of the Smokin' Tuna Cafe (which is randomly located at the end of an amazing trailer park near the Park).

We saw this really cool weather system that caught up to us just as fast as it passed by.

Camp camp camping

Okie dokie, off I go into the almost-wild until Saturday!
I have feelings of excitment somewhere in there!
I hope I haven't forgotten anything.

Bearing Off

Ugh.
This debby-downer mood is clinging like a greasy flim all over my body, and will not wash.
I find myself in a constant state of unease, and flooded with anxiety.
I feel uncomfortable, replaced, and unwanted.
There's a burning inside I can't put out, and everyday it grows, and will soon engulf me whole.

I have so much coming up, loose ends to tie, good-byes to say, with adventures ahead.

I'm stressed

I'm nervous

I'm excited

I'm going to vomit.

My last day of work is tomorrow

I don't no where I am going to live in September

I miss my kitty-cat already

I'm scared my friends are tired of me

I'm moving in < 2 weeks

I'm overwhelmed



I feel like I'm falling apart a little bit at a time,

at the seams, stich by stich.

I'm all over the place, scattered pieces

Bearing off route

a little bit lost.

a little bit loney.

I need to stop

breathe

calm

breathe

smile

breathe

Blue & Butterflies

School has been busy, and all over the place, the days have been filled with: Orienteering, birding, GPS certification, horticulture, gardening, coast and stream surveys, soil and site surveys, and getting my pleasure craft boating license (test results pending), among other fun things. All in preparation for the week long camping trip next week. 

But oddly I am not really looking forward to it.

I am a bit upset with myself for not being as excited about this spring semester as I ought to be. This is suppose to be the BEST part of my program yet I am letting it go by without really enjoying myself to the full potential.

And i can't really figure out why.

Part of me feels it's just the absurd amount of gravel and antihistamines I've been taking that always make me feel off and not myself.

But another part of me says it's because I would much rather be living somewhere that I can surf everyday, and have a real break from school.

...

These long lit days seem to pass in a blurrrrr, but they just can't go fast enough. 

I'm not sure where time has gone, or where I am going.

Life as I know it is going to be changing very soon, I am anxious, and most excited all at once.

I leave for Denman Island so soon. I want to leave now.

A tent in a secluded meadow awaits my arrival for the two months of summer I am allowed.

...

I've just finished reading Longitude by Dava Sobel.

The long pursuit for time at sea is Riveting.

John Harrison is a Boss.

The opportunities in which he opened this world to is fascinating.

Great sea voyages such as those of James Cook or Darwin's discoveries that created and defined our history may not have been the same or even successful without Harrison's "curious watch".

I highly recommend it.