Trying to find a co-op job has turned me into a horrible person. I just feel shitty, constantly. I feel so self-centered, I'm so focused on myself I don't even care about anyone else. I've been short and distant with friends, and most definitely annoying. I can't eat, I don't sleep. I'm worried all the time about everything. I hate this. I don't want to feel this way, or act the way I have been anymore.
So I'm saying fuck it. I'm not going to worry anymore. I'm done with feeling shitty, and being shitty to the rest of the world. It's not me, and I hate who I am becoming.
If I don't get a co-op job then so be it, I will go back to working retail for the summer, or I'll move back to Nanaimo and share a bunk bed with my niece. It's not ideal, it's why I went back to school, I'm supposed to be done with that stage of my life, but I'll just have to make the most of it because that's what I do.
That's who I am.
I'm usually all smiles, positive, optimistic, and stoked on life so I am going to go back to being that person.
because I really miss her,
and I think everyone else probably does too.