Say Anything

Let me sleep tonight, moon I see you.
The light is brighter then eye lids shut,
For once one dreamless night I ask.
These thoughts drift into my sleep
And keep me stranded in this hole I dug.
The dark is all around as I fall deeper
And this sleepless night grips me,
Made of cloth, a coward to the day
Is running from me, however
I am unknowingly tangled in a pull,
As you drag me behind,
By a thread attached to you.

Darkness speak to me,
if not to apologize, then to free me.

I miss KimberWolf Esmeralda Von Sanshood

Goodbye toaster oven

Goodbye hot plate

Goodbye mini fridge

Goodbye small shower

Goodbye single bed

Goodbye my shoebox of a bachelorette suite!

Today I moved out of the first place I have ever lived by myself, and I feel this is a good time to reflect on the importance of this time in my life, even though it may have only been for six months. I learned a lot about myself, such as I need to learn how to cook for myself. I  learned I prefer not to sleep alone. I learned that I am really good at locking myself out of my house. I learned how to squish silverfish (because they are to fast to catch). I learned how to shave my legs in the shower. I learned how to make delicious banana bread in a toaster oven. I learned how to call friends when you get lonely. I learned when your cat scratches the walls you can't just find a can of paint in the laundry room, and try and paint over them - that only makes it worse, especially when it's the wrong colour, and when you decide maybe sanding it down would make it look better. Oops.

I am now at Shawnigan Lake for a few days until my mum gets here, and I think early Saturday morning we are driving up and over to Denman island, my new home for the summer months.

I'm looking forward to setting up my tent, and getting my hands dirty in the garden. And getting over to Tofino as soon as possible!

As excited as I am, I miss KimberWolf Esmeralda Von Sanshood terribly. I am not sure what I will do when I won't be able to talk to her numerous times a day.

love you wifey.

<3

Sand-Worn Side of You.

I found a local jewelry artist who makes rings and pendants from recycled copper wire, entwined around sea glass and shells she collects. They are absolutely beautiful.
They remind me of you. 
The contrast of the structured copper metal wrapped around the soft, sand-worn sea glass embodies you.
You have a protective outer wall wrapped around your secrets and sensitive side to keep people out. I know this because I've passed this barrier and have seen that soft, sand-worn side of you.

I thought about taking the sea glass we've collected together to the artist to make a custom piece, something to remind me of you, because I'm scared I will forget. 

Last Day of Classes and Catch Up.

The last 10 months of my life have been the best of my life.

Hands down.

I can't believe the amount of things I've done and seen, and the relationships I've built in this short period of time.

And I blame it on these three:

My life would not be as full of love, laughter, and adventure without them.

Thank you.

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Starting the Environmental Technology program when I did was the BEST decision I have ever made! And it's been an amazing program, at the end of the first year I have my GPS certification, Pleasure Craft Boating License, Stream Keepers certification, Restricted Operator's (maritime) certification, and WHMIS certification. Not to mention hours of actually field experience! 

I was so hesitant of the week long field camp component of my spring semester, but when I got out to Fairy Lake near Port Renfrew I had a really great time. 

I drove my first power boat, I canoed around Fairy Lake and up the San Juan River and it's tributaries, which is such a beautiful area (Besides the copious amount of logging happening in that area)

 We collected insects and salamanders using different techniques as part of an on going study of populations at Fairy lake which was really neat to be apart of. It was great doing actually field work that is being used and is meaningful. We also did Telemetry which was interesting, I wasn't very good at it. Although while practicing Nathan and I did find a real frog instead of the fake ones that were hidden.

We did another stream survey, which I really enjoy doing. I love doing the field chemistry part, finding the pH, and dissolved oxygen in the water. It combines my favourite things: Chemistry and Nature.

The timber cruising module I think was my favourite though. Learning how to fill out mensuration forms, using calibrated prisms, and calculating the volume of wood in a stand was really interesting. I want to go into foresty, developing sustainable forestry practices and these are my first steps in the field. We didn't do any tree coring, which is something else I am really interested in, but I'm sure if I ask,  I can get someone to take me out to do some.

While at camp I also learned how to chop firewood! It was so liberating, and fun to be able to cut my own wood, then start a fire with it. I am one step closer to being self sufficient! I also filleted a salmon! I really manned up.

My wife and I have also made another Tofino trip since I last posted, May long weekend we made yet another trip to the West Coast to visit friends and surf, although this time with our own gear!

We also got to take a boat ride over to "Stubb's Island" that only opens up to the public once a year

And more recently Perry, Kim and I went for a hike around East Sooke Park after having an amazing lunch in the sun on the patio of the Smokin' Tuna Cafe (which is randomly located at the end of an amazing trailer park near the Park).

We saw this really cool weather system that caught up to us just as fast as it passed by.

Camp camp camping

Okie dokie, off I go into the almost-wild until Saturday!
I have feelings of excitment somewhere in there!
I hope I haven't forgotten anything.

Bearing Off

Ugh.
This debby-downer mood is clinging like a greasy flim all over my body, and will not wash.
I find myself in a constant state of unease, and flooded with anxiety.
I feel uncomfortable, replaced, and unwanted.
There's a burning inside I can't put out, and everyday it grows, and will soon engulf me whole.

I have so much coming up, loose ends to tie, good-byes to say, with adventures ahead.

I'm stressed

I'm nervous

I'm excited

I'm going to vomit.

My last day of work is tomorrow

I don't no where I am going to live in September

I miss my kitty-cat already

I'm scared my friends are tired of me

I'm moving in < 2 weeks

I'm overwhelmed



I feel like I'm falling apart a little bit at a time,

at the seams, stich by stich.

I'm all over the place, scattered pieces

Bearing off route

a little bit lost.

a little bit loney.

I need to stop

breathe

calm

breathe

smile

breathe

Blue & Butterflies

School has been busy, and all over the place, the days have been filled with: Orienteering, birding, GPS certification, horticulture, gardening, coast and stream surveys, soil and site surveys, and getting my pleasure craft boating license (test results pending), among other fun things. All in preparation for the week long camping trip next week. 

But oddly I am not really looking forward to it.

I am a bit upset with myself for not being as excited about this spring semester as I ought to be. This is suppose to be the BEST part of my program yet I am letting it go by without really enjoying myself to the full potential.

And i can't really figure out why.

Part of me feels it's just the absurd amount of gravel and antihistamines I've been taking that always make me feel off and not myself.

But another part of me says it's because I would much rather be living somewhere that I can surf everyday, and have a real break from school.

...

These long lit days seem to pass in a blurrrrr, but they just can't go fast enough. 

I'm not sure where time has gone, or where I am going.

Life as I know it is going to be changing very soon, I am anxious, and most excited all at once.

I leave for Denman Island so soon. I want to leave now.

A tent in a secluded meadow awaits my arrival for the two months of summer I am allowed.

...

I've just finished reading Longitude by Dava Sobel.

The long pursuit for time at sea is Riveting.

John Harrison is a Boss.

The opportunities in which he opened this world to is fascinating.

Great sea voyages such as those of James Cook or Darwin's discoveries that created and defined our history may not have been the same or even successful without Harrison's "curious watch".

I highly recommend it.