(29/12/08)
My Pellegrino’s flat just like my determination,
You’ve taken them both to detonation.
I drank from the jar, no bubbles were found,
To you by a string somehow I am bound.
I cannot let go of the words that you spoke,
The promises now, have left me to choke.
You know that you broke, and shattered them all,
You’ve lead me to allow my successes to fall.
I feel like my life has been lived so untrue,
As if I had owed or had to impress you.
You left us alone and sometimes it was tough,
All I could feel was that I wasn’t enough.
For my own father what was it I lacked?
For certain I thought that this was a fact.
So long my own worth I had felt doubt,
I know now that you’re the one that’s missing out.
I sit hear alone on my living room couch,
In realizing this for you I cannot vouch.
I deserve more then to wait here for you,
To my new life this is my debut.
Today I declare that I’ll make my own choice,
To follow my heart and hear my own voice.
I won’t do what I think will bring you back,
But get this engraved on the face of a plaque.
This I will read each morning that I wake,
My heart and my soul will no longer ache.
Of what I had thought was missing inside,
Now that I know that, the feeling has died.
I’ll fill up the emptiness with what is true,
my successes and loved ones who have helped me through.
I will let go, and release all of the wrong,
With what I’ve been struggling with for so long.