Friday, February 17, 2012

Tire-Tutu Garbage Ballerinas!



















Playing around at Gordon's Beach, Port Renfrew:
Surf, Swim, and a Beach Clean Up, with
Friends. 
A proper thing.

Message in a Bottle

May I float with you Buoy? On crest and in trough?
You're salty and cold-wet on a warm parting.
Rolling towards a sphere, drawn by a celestial pull.
I know of only one thing stronger, it's kept in a chest.
I will keep you company through all kinds of weather,
I know you've seen heavy storms and a flat calm,
As countless changing tides ebb and flow.
But right now it turns and it's different from the others.
I wonder what it will bring for you, and now me,
as together we float in this great big sea.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

I forgot

I've been having a really hard time being motivated with school lately, well really since the start of this semester. As much as I have enjoyed my program for the most part, this semester has not engaged me in any way. I've taken this chemistry class before and I'm thinking I should have taken the credit instead of trying to get a better mark (although I really enjoy the labs). This is my second time with Calculus and every time I hear the words "limit" or "derivative" I get shivers down my back as memories from UVIC come back to me- although it's going much better this time around. My waste management class  is a complete waste of time, as we keep getting engineers to come and give lectures on  really boring material, and who are the most awkward people that have no idea how to teach, and they always take up the full 3 hour period. My quantitative assessment class is actually really great, it's a lot of statistics and sampling design stuff that I'm enjoying and think will be super useful later on. My GIS class is pretty great too, right meow we have a pretty dry project working on a TFL boundary but again it's great experience. So I guess it's not all bad, just not that exciting, there isn't much new content, but rather building on the skills and knowledge from past semesters. I'm also rather distracted with the idea of how great it'd be to work a whatever job and be able to surf and camp more, or save money and go travel. 
This is when I need to remind myself that I went back to school because I was tired of working a retail job, not really doing anything, and that I started this program specifically because I want to do meaningful work. I want to do something I care about and believe in. I want to help people, and help the environment and this program is a step in the right direction for me to get to where I want to go. I am getting some really great skills in between some of the bull shit, and meeting important contacts and finding great resources for my future career in really whatever I want to do at this point, and that's still a really exciting feeling. I'm still not 100% sure what I want to do with my life, but this program is going to put me in a good position to get me going.

Typing out these thoughts have really helped put things back into perspective for me, school may be frustrating sometimes but ultimately this is where I want to be right meow, and it'll all be worth it in the end. 

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Goodnights



"Tomorrow should be sunny, 
because you'll be here."
                                       -RG


Sunday, January 22, 2012

Ketchup

I've finally returned back to regularly schedule programming with calculus, chemistry, quantitative assessment, GIS, waste management and co-op in the prime time line up for the next 4 months (well i suppose just over 3 meow). My winter break was much needed to resuscitate myself after last semesters manslaughter. Maybe that's too dramatic, but I felt pretty void of functioning brain activity at the end which made relaxation pretty easy to slip into. 
I got some hours in at the old job and spent time with the greatest coworkers in the world, I had just over 24 hours jam packed with family for Christmas, and a mellow New Years Eve "camping" at Sombrio. I managed to get out in the water a handful of times or two, and even surf some new places that have become new favourite breaks. 

While on the topic of surfing, I've done this silly thing of entering myself in the Wave Hunt (a fun surf competition at China Beach), which is happening early February. I am really excited and nervous and other emotions associated with such events.
Today was also my first urban surfing sesh at Cadboro Bay, it was great only driving about 10 minutes to get to the beach instead of 2 hours, and being able to change in the warm washrooms was a  luxury. Surfing in windy conditions however is not favourable, visibility is difficult when salt is spraying, or rather piercing, your eyes and wind waves are choppy, unpredictable, and have no power.  Just being in the water and experiencing the elements is brilliant though, and getting a few waves (lefts!) is just a bonus; any day spent in the water is a good one, and I got a hell of a work out paddling against the wind.

Back to catching up though, I never got around to making any new years resolutions except maybe to surf and drink more water, but I think this year will be very busy and exciting. School is a full load again, and Kim and I are back into bootcamp twice a week, and my dance company has started up again and planning for our show in March has already started and I've also been attempting to choreography a solo for it which is proving difficult.
As mentioned before I've got the Wave hunt coming up, and have been pretty involved with the Surfrider Foundation these days and I've started thinking about what to do this summer as co-op jobs are making rethink moving to Tofino. Also I've found a friend who has a unicycle I am going to borrow and attempt to learn to ride, I bucket list item I've had for many years meow (updates on my progress will come). 
As well I recently retrieved my instruments from my old house and can't wait to get my fingers moving and making music again. 
In family news I've been given contact information for relatives on my father's side that could maybe connect me with him, which I am not too sure how I feel about at this particulate moment, so we'll see how that unfolds with time. 
Thinking about everything that's going in my present life and all the things I want to be doing is a bit overwhelming and I'm feeling a little all over the place (if you can't tell) but what is prominent is that time management is going to be really important especially when I want/need to make time for best friends, boyfriends, and surfing!           

 

Monday, December 19, 2011

so quite new

With this thing called "free time" ahead of me in the form of a winter break from school I've come to the realization I no longer have hobbies. School has completely consumed my life to the point that I have forgotten all other interests I once had. 

This concerns me a bit because I feel hobbies are a reflection of my interests, which stem from my values and ideologies that define who I am. When I no longer express myself through such activities I fear I lose a bit of myself, who then do I become but a body, where is my soul? 

I used to knit a lot, read for pleasure, write, and swim. Once upon a time I played music, and went for bike rides, played chess, and went for hikes. Then there are the things I used to want to get into like film and photography, cooking, and learning how to ride a unicycle. My life consists of school, studying, and surfing (which I don't consider a hobby, rather essential to retain sanity). 

There are exciting times ahead for me as I rediscover, and find new activities and interests to engage in, as well as think about all the things I could do with an English major.      

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Monday, November 28, 2011

Additude Adjustment

School has really got me down lately so I thought I would comprise a list of things that make me happy to try and counter act the negative feelings I'm having towards school.

Puddle jumping after rainy days
Cozy toes in wool socks
Really big pom-poms
Extracting blackheads
Taking the wax off my surf board
Crossing things off To-Do lists
Picking hair out of the drain
Looking up flights to places I want to travel
Making homemade soup
Writing and sending letters
Receiving letters is great too
Curling up in flannel sheets and napping
Discovery coffee (beverages & people)
Riding the bus in the morning
Doing beach clean ups
Sucking pennies up with the vacuum
That vacuum has two U's in it
When my roommate bakes
Eating food from the garden
Putting Maple Syrup on everything
Day dreaming about my love life
Always calling people by their names when they're wearing name tags
Licking salt rocks (those pinks ones)
Poking fires with sticks
Watching marshmellows expand when you through then in the fire
Thinking about how there is a skeleton inside me
Post-surf nasal drip
Jumping in big Autumn leaf piles
Saying "Thank you driver" when I get off the bus
Getting pruney fingers from being in the water for a long time
When cats do silly things
Eating stale popcorn
Awkward moments
Getting jittery when I drink to much coffee

I feel much more relaxed, and in a better mood after thinking of all these things that make me happy. Mission accomplished.

Friday, November 25, 2011

My Hobby(Addiction)

It begins with the hunt. You get to the beach of choice, slip your dominant hand into a glove, and with bag grasped you're off scouring the sand and cobbles. At first it's hard to find any garbage and you catch you're self thinking, "Hey, this beach is pretty clean, there's hardly any garbage here at all!".
When you find your first piece however, all of a sudden you find another, and another, little bits of coloured plastic, Styrofoam, a paper cup, a piece of rope tangled in a pile of bull kelp. Everywhere you look you see something geometrically shaped, these unnatural shapes and colours buried in the sand, wedged in between logs, hiding in the dune grass. A shiny object catches your eye, a beer can, pieces of soft plastic, a glass bottle reflects the light to get your attention.
You look at your bag and are surprised at how much trash you've already found and you've only walked 20 meters down the beach. There are big objects like boat floats, just about enough articles of clothing to make an outfit, a tire, an old lawn chair, then the amount of small things add up so quickly, you can't believe you've found enough cigarette butts to fill the grande coffee cup you found earlier. 
You finally get to the end of the beach and turn around thinking you've gotten everything, but you quickly find you missed so much, how could that be? Garbage is the best at hiding. It knows all the best spots to squeeze into. 

With every piece of garbage you pick up, you notice something; The act of picking up a single piece of garbage holds an immense amount of humanity, and at the same time is instantly satisfying. The removal of anthropogenically produced trash from the beach makes you feel good about yourself, but it also holds so much more meaning:

Respect for your coast, responsibility for human behavior, as well as being personally rewarding. 





    

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Being Liquid

What does public access to our beaches mean to me?
This is something I've been given the opportunity to really think about.

When I am out in the water, I am a part of it. I am the Ocean. I feel the tides ebb and flow, I feel the currents run through me, I move with the breaking waves as one. 

This is the most intimate relationship I have ever experienced. Having access to this liquid being is essential to all life.

My life.

I have the utmost respect for the Ocean, it's power, beauty, and life are of the greatest significance. Humans have tried to understand, own, and control the water, but you can't, and they never will. 

Our coasts will not back down. The Ocean will always fight to be free.
I will not back down. I will always fight to be free. 



When the Ocean is Free,
Only then am I Free.  

Friday, November 18, 2011

Come Paddle Out!

Surfrider's South Vancouver Island Chapter is having their 3rd annual Paddle Out for Public Access Sunday at Jordan River from 12-3! There will be a beach clean up, a BBQ, yoga session, speakers from the TLC Land Conservancy and Dogwood Initiative, music, wetsuit changing competition, awesome prizes, and of course the Paddle Out!
Everyone is invited! Ocean enthusiast coming together to celebrate our coast! 

Sunday, November 6, 2011

ReCharged

A terrifying wake up by four alarms is a sure way to get one out of bed. Two cell phones, a clock, and watch, all each others backups. Not trusting if our cell phones would automatically change the time back an hour for day light savings.

Starting the day at 4:45 in the morning is always a little tough, but when you know you're headed for the water every second of sleep you lose is worth it. Stumble to the bathroom, throw on some pants, boil water for coffee, and Kim's already making oatmeal with dates, there was frost outside of every surface. On every blade of crunchy grass. The two of us standing in the drive way, boards on the lawn, feet in wool socks waiting in the dark for the guys.
On the road by 5:30, out of the city, a sigh of relief.

I can breath. 

Sing alongs starting soon after the sleep's been rubbed out of half closed eyes, no sign of first light until Jordan River.
Onward along the twisting paved path through rainforest to find a gravel parking lot filled to the brim. It was going to be a busy day in the water, with swell on a weekend it wasn't exactly a surprise.
Suited up with boards underarms, the decent to sea level was made with quick feet, and in time for sunrise. This could have been the end to the day and I would have been completely satisfied.

This was my first time at this wave, I had only ever surfed at other parts of the beach before. The swell was great, the water was crowded, more so then I have ever experienced, which was intimidating at first, trying to figure out how the line up was working, and how and where this wave breaks. The guys here are more aggressive then I'm used too, and after awhile of letting everyone else go for everything I got into the pocket and took some of my own. This wave was nice and easy to paddle into, but after a few nose-dives (my specialty) I got a nice right I rode to the beach. The number of people about doubled and it was getting cold waiting in the water, so we headed back up to change in the cold air, and attempt  to warm numb toes and fingers with coffee from a hot Thermos, and packed snacks.

Layered in sweaters, scarfs and jackets, returning to the beach, we watched the numerous collisions and party waves.
We met friends from the Surfrider Foundation for a beach clean up, and found a ridiculous amount of beer cans. Kim and I did a 50 m transect of beach face, and scoured this area for the garbage analysis.
Again we went up to the parking lot, this time getting in the truck and headed back to the city with the heater on, and finally having feeling coming back to my fingers and toes.

I hold my breath.

Friday, October 28, 2011

An Exhalation

I'm not sure what, or how to feel right now. Helplessly trapped, confined to a space that's physically limiting. All of a sudden I can't breath. I can't see anything, seamless, flat obstructions: walls, in all directions. I'm overwhelmed with possibilities waiting just out of reach. All I have to do is stand up, and with each leg walk. Walk until I can no longer hold myself. Until there are no lights, or sounds.
Silence.
I learned what silence is.
I miss silence.
I need silence.


I can't breath again.
Everyday I am in this city I break a little more.
I crumble away.
All I am is memories,
All I have is memories.
As I crumble I forget.
I loose those images, words, sounds that make me up.
One by one, they fall.
I am not living in this moment, creating memories.
It's impossible because: This moment is not real, 
everything about it is anthropogenically produced.
The memories that make me are the real ones.
The ones I don't want to loose.
I don't want to forget what real is.
When we forget what's real,
That is when our souls die.
Our bodies remain,
but they are empty.
There are too many empty bodies here.

Monday, October 24, 2011

When unsure

Sometimes it helps to stop and ask yourself:

What would Elizabeth Bennet do?

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Soundtrack to my Heart

Do you have that one album, that every time you listen to it, it brings you back to a place where you were incredibly happy? An audio cue of a moment you never want to forget. Songs that make your heart pang of the fond memories now past, of places you wish you could return too, with people you miss dearly. 

You associate this place with this album because that's where you were the first time you heard it, you fell in love with it, you were having the time of your life with it playing in the background.  

Every time I play it, I find myself back in the car, driving up and down that peninsula, it's raining, we're talking about anything, headed to the beach. We're at the grocery store buying glazed donuts, and whatever is on sale for dinner. We're meeting for lunch during work breaks, and talking about surfing. Everyday headed back to the beach, back in the water, with that album playing in the back of my head.

Listening to it now is heartache, but I just want to return to that time when life was easy, and I was having so much fun. It let's me escape from midterms, labs, and the city, at least just for a moment. I like to think that's alright to do, but I know it's because I'm addicted to that heartache, of wanting something I can't have.
Maybe it's time to put that album back on the shelf and forget it for a while, because living in the past isn't getting me anywhere.  

Monday, October 17, 2011

Cloud Covered Coffee


The World is Mine.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Note to Self:

Don't hesitate. Live. Dream elaborately. Read poetry out loud. Scream at the top of your lungs every once in a while. Breath. Have friends over and cook them delicious food. Sing in the shower. Dance from point A to point B. Stretch after a long day. Write things down. Always accept what you are given.

Let go of any negative emotions and energy at the end of each day, you don't need them.
Let go of any positive emotions and energy at the end of each day, you don't need them either.
Just be.

Breath. Love every little bit about yourself. Let go of your ego. You are insignificant. Forgive. Be silly, and ridiculous. Laugh. Laugh so hard it hurts. Work your body until it sweats, and shakes. Breath. Always exercise your imagination. Draw.

Do things you love. Do things you dislike, it builds character.

Climb a tree, then hug it. Travel. Howl at the Moon. Swim in the Ocean often. Tell yourself you're beautiful, because you are. Breath. Vacuum up a long line of pennies.
Be independent, stand tall, and stand up for what you believe in. Express yourself. Speak your mind, you have a voice,
LET'S HEAR IT. Don't be afraid.
Play in the sun, play in the rain.


Take cat naps regularly.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Monday, October 10, 2011

Wholesome Adventures

There's nothing quiet as fun as waking up at 5:30 in the morning, hopping in The Jazz Cafe, boards in back, and headed to the West Coast to surf some salty waves. They weren't that big, but they were tonnes of fun. Just playing in the water with the birds, seals, bull kelp, otters, and neoprene covered friends is all a girl needs in life. It's so hard to stay in school when there's a whole watery world I want to submerge myself into. Permanently.
My post-surf nap included a stream of dreams in a never ending left barrel, sometimes in the sun somewhere tropical, sometimes in the rain along my favourite coast. Waking I found myself "So pitted" in my warm, flannel sheets, sprawled out on my single bed, drooling a little puddle on my pillow.
This is the easiest life we've ever lived.



Sunday, October 9, 2011

2:03:30

Today was the Royal Victoria Marathon, 1/2 marathon, and 8km Race!
 My wifey Kimberwolf ran and finished her first 1/2 marathon in an amazing 2 hours, 3 minutes, and 30 seconds. I am so proud of her!
 Paws came out to support her, and cheer on all the runners!
 Kim is my hero.
And a total babe.
Today was so much fun!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Sunday, October 2, 2011

No.1 In the "In The Water" Series: Fall 2011

Sometimes Kim and I like to paddle out in Gonzales Bay and watch the sunrise.


We sing, we splash,


We laugh.


We imagine there are waves.

                    

With the water to ourselves,

  
We create our own watery world.


Where life is brilliant,


And just for that time in the morning,


The world is perfect.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Today is Bliss

That is all.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Goofy-Footed


  I pee in the shower.

Sometimes I imagine I'm the lead singer in an all girls punk rock band.

I always double-dip


I absolutely love seeing semi trucks at night, all lit up.
I think they look like dragons.
It makes me extremely uncomfortable when people where shoes inside. I also dislike wearing socks.

 I think the moon is made of cheese.